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When you are planning to bring to this world a new little being you have to consider that they will enter your space, your home,your routine and they will need you for everything. Its hard to imagine that once they arrive they become your life. So now its up to you to decide how much of your life and your space are you willing to dedicate to this little being. Will you work? Will you still go to the gym? Will you use a pram? A new question which is increasing in regularity is will you co-sleep? Share your bedroom, your sleeping space, with your baby.
Many parents are now seeking out things done many years ago and still done across the world which the west seems to have steered away from such as baby wearing, full time breast feeding and co-sleeping. Why is this?
I myself felt that there was another side to motherhood, to parenting. A more natural approach instead of assuming that this little baby would fit into the time table written for it to stick to. Timed feeds, bedtime routines and all attempts made in getting it to be independent as soon as possible. This to me felt a waste of the precious bonding time Allah swt blessed us with in the early stages of this baby's life. I was willing to look into sharing my space with my new baby if this meant he would get a better start in life as I'm sure how his first year goes will affect how he grows and develops. At this point I hadn't thought about sharing my actual bed though, I just wanted to have baby in his basket next to me for as long as possible. Close enough to touch and still leaving me my space to sleep.
The first night in hospital I was so tired but all I kept hearing was a gagging coming from my baby as he was trying to cough up mucus from his little lungs. I was afraid he would choke so I took him and rested him on me. Here I felt I could make sure he was safe,here he fell asleep and soon after so did I. I still wake now and look up to see if baby is OK ( he is 6 months old now)
At home I had set up the basket next to my bed, but when I tried to go to sleep my new mommy instincts kept tingling and this meant moving myself up to see over the edge of the basket. After 2 nights of waking a lot to check if he was OK I gave up. He slept next to me and this way we both got more sleep. I fed comfortably and slept knowing he was safe with just a glance or a feel of his small breath. I never rolled onto him and always knew where he was and you just become aware of your movements so you know he is safe. After 2 weeks however my back ached from laying in one position for so long. So I researched other options,but a bedside cot was too expensive. So with a little DIY we converted a £30 Ikea cot into a bedside cot and haven't looked back since.
My son sleeps next to me, I can see him, smell him and touch him with ease. I only have to sit up to reach and feed him. We both sleep more soundly knowing that we are close. He is not clingy, he goes to sleep before I go to bed and I feel,for me and him this was the best option and I would do it all again in the same way, minus the moses basket. I don't look forward to moving him to his own room. I love having him next to us and would recommend it to anyone.
Below are some good websites with medical, scientific, Islamic and personal opinions which I found useful in helping me feel comfortable in chosing to co-sleep. From the bottom of my heart I hope all mothers feel free to be the mother they want to be and that their babies deserve. Follow nature, follow instinct, follow Allah swt whatever you end up doing let it be out of love and not pressure from others. Please do not feel like you have to follow a strict guide written by those who want baby to suit their lives and desires.
http://www.themodernreligion.com/family/bed.html
http://www.naturalchild.org/guest/tami_breazeale.html
http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/sleep-problems/co-sleeping-yes-no-sometimes
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